Here is devotion #3 based on songs on Downhere’s latest release Ending Is Beginning.

My Last Amen
by Marc Martel of Downhere

When I was young, no other song could get me on my Christian high horse like “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction.” “If Mick Jagger only knew Jesus!” I would think to myself, knowing that if he did, he certainly wouldn’t be singing a song like that. But now, having lived a few more years, I’ve come around to realize that I completely agree with the lead singer’s astute observation. We really can’t get no satisfaction (all grammatical criticism aside). Not in this life anyway. What Jagger missed, though, is that it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

God’s Word says that He has put eternity in our hearts. That helps me understand why we came up with religion as a method of searching out the less tangible side of existence. It’s a part of my very nature to want more than this life can offer. It’s this “eternity” in my heart that gives me a longing for what’s beyond the natural, beyond the temporal, past the time I occupy down here on Earth. I believe it’s the reason why so many poets and songwriters can’t help but write lyrics echoing the sentiment of that song by the Stones, or U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” (correct me if I’m wrong, Bono). It’s the very reason why we are – if we’re all very honest – unsatisfied.

For me, it’s that longing that keeps me writing songs. This may sound kind of mystical or whatever, but I can’t tell you how many times I have found myself jamming along in my bedroom, and a magical musical moment will pass where I have to stop and go, “Ok… what the heck was that I just played?!” And even if I play or sing the exact same thing again, that feeling I had the first time isn’t there anymore – and somehow I know I won’t get it back. Each time I start a new song, subconsciously I’m hoping I’ll capture that moment more purely than I did with the last song (that’s the plan anyway!). Ironically enough, I get fulfillment out of that. Maybe those moments in my bedroom are little clues that God leaves for me to show me there is something far better, and that one day I’ll have it. Like being unsatisfied gives me hope in looking forward to the day when I will be satisfied.

The catch for all of us is, if not in this life, then when? Our greatest hope as followers of Jesus is that he has defeated the power of death that once kept us separate from God because of sin. For believers in Christ, death is no longer the end, but the beginning of true fulfillment. We are destined to be in the presence of God eternally after this life is over. I’ve been a Christian since I was a kid, but still when I see the word “death”, I can sometimes imagine evil red eyes staring back at me. Guess I still have a ways to go with that. Or maybe I’m brainwashed by Hallowe’en decorations! Either way, death goes against everything we desire. It’s one of the few things that I think every culture agrees on: death is wrong. So we come up with slogans like “Carpe Diem” to help us to enjoy every second of this life because when you die, you’re done. But God’s Word tells us that when Jesus died on the cross, all of that changed. Somehow he changed it so completely that for those of us who put our trust in Him, even the idea of death has been turned on its head… changing it from the most dreadful thing, into this glorious point of rendezvous with our Saviour. I’ve always envied believers who have a real clear understanding of that. I remember back in college, overhearing a few girls – one whom I had an enormous crush on – who were deep in a discussion about death. One girl was saying she didn’t want to die before she got to experience the joys of marriage and having her own children. The prettiest girl in the group, my said crush, proceeded to emphatically disagree, saying she couldn’t wait for the Lord to take her because being with Him would be so much greater than any earthly pleasure. Sure, it was Bible College and all, but I could tell by the tone of her voice that she honestly meant it. She actually sounded excited! How mature is that? How HOT is that! As a 31-year-old now, knowing that my chances of expiring are still 100%, the idea still feels very foreign and surreal. But even though it might cause a little rush of discomfort in my gut, I know it’s not scary. Do I look forward to it? Still working on that one. That said, I can’t imagine looking at death coming at me, slowly but surely down the road, without knowing Jesus. How dreadfully terrifying that must be. I guess that’s why the subject is so seldom broached.

Today, I can hear “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”, not with condescending pity, but hope. In my relationship with Christ, I try to view my life as a kind of prayer, with death as the final punctuation… the Amen. If you’re not a musician, I’m sure there are other things that set off that sense of “eternity in your heart”. Like when you find yourself doing the things you love most. For me, it’s mostly in music, or sometimes in being with the people I love. An old hymn called “The Lost Chord” is what inspired “My Last Amen”, and I’ll leave you with the lyrics:

I know not what I was playing
Or what I was dreaming then,
But I struck one chord of music
Like the sound of a great amen.

It flooded the crimson twilight
Like the close of an angel’s psalm,
And it lay on my fevered spirit
Like the touch of an infinite calm.

I have sought but I seek it vainly,
That one lost chord divine,
Which came through the soul of the organ
And entered into mine.

It may be that Death’s bright angel
Will speak in that chord again,
It may be that only in Heaven
I shall hear that Grand Amen.

Amen brother!

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Hear clips from all the songs on Ending Is Beginning on Downhere’s YMZ artist page. The album is available now at your local Canadian Christian retailer.

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